March of the Sugar Ants

Seeing the ants march
Four by four
Twelve by twelve
An army
A river
A stream of chocolate
Melting in the sun
It can make you pause

Pause like a warm breeze
Ruffling the pages of a book
Look up
Look down
A moment
A sacred moment
Nothing but the patter of leaves in the breeze
and a river of chocolate brown ants

Ants melt into estuaries
Into raging seas
The pavement turns brown
Heaving leaves
The waves swallow us up
A turbid cloud enshrouds our eyes
A flickering moment
A dream?
Neat concrete lines
Neat ant armies
Neat piles of brown leaves
Back in place

The deep sea within
Rages up
Rages down
Outside the leaves
Are turning brown
The colour of every paint
Blended carelessly on the palette
Toothless urges for change
The wind will take them
Where they must go

Shadows lengthen
New and unknown shapes
Heads of many faces
Worry settles in
My constant companion
Cinches the space
Between my brows
As if frowning
Will change anything
As if a tight jaw and a distracted mind
Ever made the world a better place

The leaves smell sweet and dry
Crunch on the sidewalk
The ants go marching
Through the cracks
And up garden walls
With purpose
Such enviable purpose

I kick leaves up
I kick leaves down
So many situations
That I can do nothing about
The ants are marching
The leaves are brittle husks
White is the sky
Sweet blue just out of sight
Masked by a veil of ivory cloud

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Dawn

The walk to work in the mornings is one of the highlights of my day. I set out just as the sun is beginning to make its way above the horizon. I can still see the stars and moon above, though there is a paleness to the sky as the sun begins to wash away the dark of night. It takes just under fifteen minutes to walk to the train station, and the neighbourhood is all a-hush. Twilight is my favourite time of day, and though I am more familiar with evening twilight, I discover the light of the dawn to be equally enchanting. It has a different feeling of course; the world is about to wake up, become bright and busy, instead of go to sleep under the soft sparkling blanket of the night sky. But that in-between space between day and night is the same, and it takes my breath away.

I walk through the park on my way, over a small dark creek that shines in this half-light, masking its brown city murk. The long, muted-green leaves of the eucalyptus trees create a canopy and their smooth silver trunks curve gracefully below. Ethereal fans of water spray out over the cricket ground, protecting its bright green grass from drought. I can smell that the field has been recently mown.

By now the orange glow in the east behind me has begun to creep higher. I cast my head backwards a few times to catch a glimpse, but move quickly through the brisk morning until I reach my destination. To do so I must cross a pedestrian overpass of an eight-lane freeway. It feels like crossing over some molten river of lava—frightening but fascinating. Sometimes, though, I can’t bear to look down, and simply cross with my gaze up and the rush in my ears.

Just on the other side sits the station. Sometimes as I descend to platform one I can see a small flock of brightly coloured hot air balloons in the west, that has risen to catch the glorious waking of the sun. The dawn has been very glorious indeed on my morning commute thus far. I usually arrive five minutes early for my train and I sit on a bench looking east, calmed and buoyed by the magnificent pinks and oranges and the brilliant glow added to the sky by the sun just out of sight. I feel calm, at peace, inspired.

Then I go to work.

I am grateful to have found temporary work, though it is not always an easy job. I have landed the title of production assistant at a raw vegan chocolate factory that does very well, and produces a lot of very delicious chocolate. Which translates to extremely busy, rushed and noisy days in the factory, and I have left each shift with a very achy back, sometimes a headache. But I have a job, and given I can only work six months at any one place of employment on my current visa*, I would not really wanted to have landed my dream job in the first half of this year anyway.

Production starts early, and as a natural night owl, I am seeing more of the dawn than I have in a quite a few months (Spain is a country perfect for night owls in its late dining and living rhythms, so I did not see all that many sunrises in the past year).

I have been in Australia two months now and fall is in the air. I do not yet feel settled. We do not have a place of our own, and I have found my new job somewhat challenging. And a recent bout of homesickness has hit me hard. But on those beautiful morning walks, with the sky and the leaves and the fresh, brisk air, I am at peace.

*I currently have a Working Holiday Visa which permits the holder to work in Australia for one year, on the condition that no job last for more than six months with one employer (unlike the Canadian Working Holiday Visa which allows two years and permits holders to work at any job for as long as they like during that time). For more information on the costly and wily ways of Australian Immigration, see my post: Australian Immigration Throws a Curve-ball